This blog hits so many of my yes buttons: although our children are on different parts of the spectrum (that’s why it’s a spectrum & not a zillion different named things), it helps so much to know we are not alone.
I am *the* most qualified person ever to write this post. Here’s why: I can’t imagine anyone having better friends and family than I do. Gawww.
So I’d like to share with you just a sampling of what they do right. Please understand that I cannot speak for everyone; I can’t list all the great things they do if I mean to keep this under 10,000 words; and I definitely do not intend to make excuses for bad behavior on our part.
But if you have a friend with an autistic child, you might see certain behaviors from us. And if you’ve ever wondered how to uniquely and profoundly love on these friends, here is a short list of some of my favorite hats my people have worn at various times.
1. The Elephant-Avoider
Yep, we have a kid with autism. We spend 100% of our waking hours thinking about it, and about…
I’ve been blessed to have the opportunity to make an icon of St Thomas the Apostle, at the moment when he greets the risen Lord in the locked room – based on the fresco by Panselinos, my great inspiration, from the Protaton on Mt Athos.
There is a very comprehensive discussion of this icon here and one of the Festal hymns is quoted:-
“With his searching right hand, Thomas did probe Your life-bestowing side, O Christ God; for when You did enter while the doors were shut, he cried out unto You with the rest of the Apostles: You are my Lord and my God.”
(from the Hymns of the Feast)
I may have said this before but it bears repeating. St Thomas did not doubt Christ’s Resurrection because he had no faith. On the contrary, his uncertainty had two reasons. One, that Our Lord might be shown to be physically resurrected, not just in a vision for the faithful and that it be recorded in the Gospel. Secondly, that we might see in Thomas the depth of love and grief and fear and hope we would all experience. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe, but he didn’t dare to believe that he might once more see his Master. His cry from the heart “My Lord and My God!” wrends the heart even now.
Throughout this icon’s making I have held the commissioner in my prayers, as he makes his way towards the ministry. I continue to pray for him and wish him χρόνια πολλά – many years – in God’s service.
Today we celebrated the feast of the amazing saint of our times, St Nectarios of Pentapolis. He has been a great healer and wonderworker in our own lives but I want to share with you the short ‘vita’ given in our parish newsletter today, as it sums up both his life and the lessons we can learn from him so succinctly.
“Today we keep the feast of St Nectarios of Pentapolis. St Nectarios was born to a large poor family in Sylevria in eastern Thrace in 1846 to a humble background. He was a good pupil and always very religious. he became a monk, was ordained and subsequently went to Egypt where he was appointed Metropolitan of Pentapolis by the Patriarch of Alexandria. Here however he became the object of the jealousy of several fellow clerics in the Patriarchate. They made lying accusations against him which resulted in his being deposed and he had to return to Greece in disgrace. These accusations stayed with him for the rest of his life. After a very difficult period he was eventually appointed as a peripatetic preacher and then as the principal of the Rhization seminary in Athens. Here his humility and holiness were an inspiration for the students and many stories are told about him at this time. Two stick in my mind. The first was when some students misbehaved and brought the seminary into disrepute. St Nectarios said nothing to them but imposed a very strict fast on himself! The students were so embarrassed that they never misbehaved again. The other was when one of the cleaners became ill and was unable to do his job. So that he would not be sacked St Nectarios got up even earlier in the morning and did all the cleaning – especially of the lavatories – before everyone else got up. As a result the cleaner recovered and did not lose his job.
Eventually St Nectarios retired to the island of Aegina and here he successfully refounded a monastery for nuns often in the teeth of opposition. After his death on November 8th 1920 everyone saw that he had been a very holy man indeed: he was canonised in 1961. The monastery on Aegina now has the most beautiful, and largest, church in the whole of Greece, to cope with the vast number of pilgrims who come to venerate his relics. He is remembered as a wonder worker and is commemorated by the Church at every proskomide: a unique accomplishment for such a modern saint. He is also revered because many people are healed through his prayers, many hear him knock when they listen at his tomb (He does. I heard him!).
However, there is another reason why I think we should remember him in our age: how he dealt with adversity. St Nectarios had a very difficult life indeed. Often he must have thought that all his effort and hard work was useless and that he was achieving nothing. Yet he persevered. He did not hate or fight those who wronged him. He submitted to the will of others however unfair they were and continued to honour and love God above all things.
We all have difficult times in our lives. In those times let us remember St Nectarios and continue with the tasks that we have in hand and try to do them as well as we can for the glory of God, without complaint or grumbling. The Saviour’s Resurrection did not happen without suffering: neither will our Salvation.
But he who endures to the end will be saved (Mark 13:13)
Holy Nectarios, pray to God for us!”
(Archdiocese of Thyateira and Great Britain Newsletter, 9th November 2014, 7th Sunday of Luke, 5th tone).
Proof that I have not, yet, fallen off the edge of the world! I am enjoying this more than I should perhaps, because I am studying the original by Panselinos to really understand it. Layers in drapery can easily become solid and flat or we can lose our sense of the form beneath the fabric: resist the temptation to ignore basic rules of drawing, especially when painting something complicated! I will share this with you again when it is completed. In the meantime, please let me know if you have any questions :)
Wishing you all a joyous Feast of the Transfiguration, albeit one day late. This year I have kept the blog in hibernation for a few reasons, not least that any time I have outside of teaching and homekeeping has been used preparing icons. However, we have made the decision to send our daughter to a local school that we believe will fit her needs better than staying home, at least for the moment. Being an only child can be lonely, especially if your mother tends to be rather solitary! So next week we begin the adventure of school and I have been given a space above our church to paint, although I will be sharing it with several other groups. Please pray this works out – I think being so close to the services will be a great support in my painting.
In the meantime, all slots for icons this year are *definitely, finally* closed. I apologise to those of you who have been patiently waiting and promise you will see progress very soon. To those of you with enquiries about painting and tuition, please email me – I am seriously considering a course here in Edinburgh next year.
I finally wanted to say a little about the Transfiguration, or metamorphosis: it is, possibly, my favourite feast apart from Pascha. The silent night, suddenly filled with blinding light; Christ’s true nature shining through this frail mortal frame, transfiguring the very robes he was wearing; the presence of the two prophets, taken to Heaven bodily, who ‘translated unto eternal life, where they groweth not old’ after a life of service and hardship… Finally, the apostles: the Troparion we sang says:
You were transfigured on the mountain, O Christ God,
revealing Your glory to Your disciples as far as they could bear it.
Let Your everlasting Light also shine upon us sinners,
through the prayers of the Theotokos.
O Giver of Light, glory to You!
“As far as they could bear it” – we are given to see as much grace and divinity as we can handle. What mercy and love we are shown in our weakness, so that we can grow in love and faith as our children grow tall and strong! Blessed Feast, and pray for me, a sinner.
I am delighted to be back at work, after a break from both painting and teaching my daughter. Over the Christmas and Theophany break, I thought long and hard about how to continue in my work while also being a ‘good enough’ mother, wife, teacher, member of the Church, here in Edinburgh. I almost considered no longer painting, I will be honest, as it is not a question of sitting down for half an hour and pootling about with a paint brush. I have read articles, both inspiring and dispiriting, on the future of iconography within our Faith. At the Orthodox Arts Journal Fr Silouan pointed out the problems inherent in relying on modern digital reproductions of pre-existing Icons. While I am not going to argue for a second that a reproduction cannot be used in both private and community worship – that would be silly – I will agree that once one has seen the complexity and vibrancy found in a traditionally painted icon, using tempera, ground pigment, real gold leaf which dances, shines, lives, one cannot argue that they are no different. It’s rather like – to use an utterly secular example – the difference between a salad of vegetables grown in the Mediterranean sun, bursting with flavour, vitality and complex tastes to the limp, pale and lifeless example of salad encased within two slices of white bread in this country. Technically the same, in reality, very different!
In an ideal world, we would all have handpainted icons in both our Churches and our homes. That’s simply not possible and we work with what we have, we pray that the Holy Spirit works through what we have. By His Grace, reproduction icons can and do convey blessings.
However: I have been given the opportunity, in a small, tiny way, to pass on the baton of traditional iconography in these islands and, thanks to God, many other places. I have seen, first hand, the transformation of a piece of wood, a leaf of gold, a pile of ground stone, into an icon that can live and breathe new hope and joy into the hearts of those who are sent them. I can’t give up, no matter what.
As you know, I keep my costs to a minimum and indeed pay myself less than the minimum wage (not even a ‘living wage’, whatever that means). If you are interested in commissioning an icon, do please contact me. It helps if you know your budget and I can tell you straight away what is possible – buying panels means paying the craftsmen who carefully dry and carve the wood, who spend hours applying gesso and have their own families to support, as well as buying gold leaf, pigments and so on.
With all that in mind, I have a few spaces for icons this year and pray that you will feel able to contact me by email or on facebook to discuss your needs. In the meantime, it is good to be back and planning my tiny work in this corner of our Father’s world.